Citizens of the world, I don't mean to alarm you. But as a respected member of the news media, it's my duty to inform you of a horrible truth: Frogs are taking over the planet.

My fellow humans, we are under attack. One look at the international news wire shows life as we know it is about to end, and soon our race will be subservient to a new breed of amphibious overlords. I direct you to a news flash from Japan, where it's raining tadpoles.

International news outlets report that clouds of dead tadpoles have fallen from the sky in a number of cities since the start of the month. One man in the city of Nanao got caught in a downpour and found more than 100 croaked tadpoles covering windshields in a nearby parking lot. Just two days later, dead tadpole showers were reported in the city of Hakusan.

Can you imagine the weather report over there? "Today's forecast calls for partly cloudy conditions with a 50 percent chance of dead amphibians raining on your head."

Showers of small creatures such as frogs and fish are rare meteorological phenomena reported occasionally across the world. Scientists widely attribute such surreal events to strong winds and storms sucking up creatures and depositing them inland.

This explanation doesn't hold water with meteorologists in Japan, where they tend to be a little touchy about catastrophic attacks by amphibians, what with Godzilla, and all. Local experts note that had been no reports of strong winds. Nor had they noticed anyone walking around with dead-tadpole launchers.

You might think such a strange sight, straight out of the book of Revelation, signals the end of the world. But if you keep your eye on international events, you realize the tadpole attacks actually indicate the start of a new world order. Surely these tadpoles are going kamikaze on behalf of the new frog god of India.

Hundreds of followers flock to Reji Kumar's home daily to pray and ask for miracles from a frog that constantly changes color.

The man found the frog while watering plants, according to The Sun newspaper. It was a dazzling white at first, then changed to yellow and had gone gray by the time he got it home.

"By night the frog was dark yellow," the man said, "and then it became transparent so you could see its internal organs."

So what, it's the amphibian equivalent of Cher?

"It seemed like a miracle to me that this frog had so many different coats," Reji said. "So now people come to see him and pray to him."

Now, this amazing technicolor frog is getting another visitor: One of India's top zoologists. Professor Oommen V. Oommen, whose name I swear I am not making up, said it's not uncommon for animals to change color. Frogs do it to scare away predators. And also, because it ain't easy being green.

But even Professor Oommen V. Oommen, who you will remember is a zoologist and not a comic book villain, concedes it's unusual for a creature to change color so frequently. This typically is reserved for spring breakers in Cabo who dare try the extra spicy sauce.

The professor plans to collect the frog for study. This comes as a relief to Reji, who is concerned for the welfare of his slimy idol.

"My one problem is that this frog does not appear to eat. I keep trying to feed it but it doesn't eat anything," he said.

Need we further proof of the frog's divinity? It changes color faster than the aurora borealis despite eating less than Nicole Richie.

Surely this is a sign from above that the frogs are taking over. Speaking of signs from above, you might want to carry an umbrella today. The weatherman says there's a slight chance of afternoon tadpole carcasses.

Columnist Ben Bromley hopes his skill at "Frogger" will give him a leg up in the new world order. Contact him at bbromley@capitalnewspapers.com.