May I propose a moratorium on hate, greed, unforgiving attitudes and family battles during this holiday season?

Many families are hit especially hard at this time of year with the economic crisis and the pressure to spend ourselves happy. So it is in my family as well. Those who suffer from mental illnesses are especially vulnerable as they all too often become the scapegoats for all that is wrong in the family, in the church, in the community.

Whether we believe in the birth of a savior, or just celebrate the goodness of humankind, we all should make a special effort to truly share the spirit of the season with all people, not just those we feel comfortable with.

There are parents and grandparents who will spend the holidays in sadness because their children and grandchildren have abandoned them. Young adults don't want to deal with their parents if they don't have money or if they are sick.

Yet these parents have spent years, caring for their children through all kinds of crises and celebrations.

There are those who talk about family values that are exclusively about gays and abortion, but let me tell you folks, Jesus didn't talk about those things. He talked about loving our neighbor as ourselves (and that includes all of our family members), being kind to those in need, giving our excess to those without, taking care of the sick, the lonely, the betrayed and poor.

So, that's why I suggest we have a moratorium on greed, hate, unforgiveness, family squabbles, selfishness, "grinchiness" and all the other negatives that take us down at this time of year.

Communicate. Problems don't get solved if you slam the receiver every time someone you've decided not to like calls you. Answer your e-mails and letters. Talk without shouting and listen. Act like a responsible grown-up who seeks to settle disputes with wisdom and kindness.

If we all did that more often, just imagine what great things and great joy would come of it.

And, speaking from experience, using children (grandchildren) as pawns in your war on someone is truly mean and cruel. Think about what your anger is doing not only to you but to others as well.

May this holiday season resonate with love, forgiveness, peace and joy. And maybe, just maybe, we can carry the moratorium over into the new year. Just imagine how wonderful that would be.

To all I wish, a very blessed and peace-filled holiday season.

Carol Ahrens, Freeport, Ill., formerly of Portage